Sternberg (1986) Triangular theory of love
Several definitions of love have been offered but one of the most widely used models is that of Sternberg.
He suggests that there are three psychological elements that, combined in different ways, produce the different kinds of love.
1. Intimacy- the closeness two people feel for each other, the feelings of warmth in a relationship
2. Passion - those drives in a loving relationship that lead to romance, physical attraction and sexual consummation
3. Commitment - the decision that you love someone and the degree of commitment to maintaining that love.
Different Types of Love Sternberg (1986)
Sternberg proposes that the 3 elements singly or in various combinations produce seven different kinds of love:
is a combination of intimacy and passion. Romantic lovers are bonded emotionally (as in liking) and physically through passionate arousal. Love based on both the physical and emotional attraction. Typical of the love between Romeo and Juliet in which lovers feel mutual passion accompanied by the feeling that they can bare their souls to one another.
Companionate love consists of intimacy and commitment. The love that exists in a long term committed friendship or in a marriage in which physical attraction has waned. Most romantic love relationships that last eventually turn into companionate love relationships.
Liking has only one component--intimacy. Intimate liking characterizes true friendships, where we feel bonded, warmth and closeness but not passion or long term commitment
Infatuated love has only one component-passion and is often what we feel as love at first sight-without intimacy and commitment infatuated love may disappear suddenly
Fatuous love has the passion and commitment components but not the intimacy. This type of love is often found in whirlwind courtship and marriage where commitment is motivated by passion without the stabilizing influence of intimacy
Consummate love is the only type that has all three components--intimacy, commitment an passion. Consummate love is the most complete form of love and it represents the ideal love relationship for which many people strive but few achieve. Sternberg cautions that maintaining a consummate love may be even harder than achieving it
What is interesting about the theory is that it tries to explain all manner of love relationships. A mother might feel commitment to her daughter and try for intimacy as well. Good friends might share intimacy, and they might try for some commitment. The difference between them and the mother and daughter is the degree of commitment.
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